Hi everyone, this is my first time on a forum like this, so I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here.
I've been working with a christian counsellor about the sexual abuse I suffered 25 years ago, and have come to realise that I need to report my abuser to the police. I'm scared of doing this for lots of reasons, will my family find out? will they reject me once they know what happened? will I be believed? Will it all just be a lot of pain for nothing? At the same time I know I've got to do it as I can't live with the thought that he's still out there and could be doing this to other girls, and I'm just ashamed that it's taken me so long.
It's so strange the effect this is having on my emotions, one day I'm on the edge of tears all the time, and the next I might be fine. It's a bit of a rollercoaster and I feel as if I'm starting something I won't be able to control.
Elizabeth
Hi Elizabeth
You're so very welcome to the forum - that first post takes quite a lot of trust and courage, I know..well, we all do.
I won't repeat what the others have already said about feeling safe, well informed as to procedures and what to expect etc but I do want to commend your concern for and desire to protect others who may be suffering at the hands of whoever a****d you. That is such a mature and responsible road to embark on but one that, as you say, brings up an enormous amount of doubt and fear re being believed, family responses etc.so needs much consideration for your own well being thro it all.
I haven't been thro it myself as my a****r is long dead but I don't imagine you have to rush into anything so I hope you'll feel able to bring some of your thinking/feeling here where we will support you as best we can.
Take care, Barbara
Bit scared actually
Hi Elizabeth
Firstly I want to say welcome. I haven't been on here long myself but already feel that I am supported.
I, like Grace, can't advise you on the police reporting procedure, as I have never found the courage to do likewise.
You should be proud of yourself for thinking of reporting him. The fact that it took 25 years is immaterial.
Good luck and keep us posted. We are all here to support you.
Hi Elizabeth, Welcome! I
Hi Elizabeth,
Welcome! I dont have any words of wisdon right now,. but fo know that I am listening and am thinking about you. Where did you hear about the forums?
Love Claire
''Pooh!'' he whispered.
''Yes, Piglet?''
''Nothing,'' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. ''I just wanted to be sure of you.''
hi Elizabeth
Hi, welcome to the forums, well done you on posting, thats such a big step. I am afraid I cannot give you any advice about telling the police as I have not gone down that road with my abusers. I am sure there are people here who have though and might give you more helpful advice. The only gut instinct I have about it is that you need to make sure you feel safe about doing all that. Have you talked it through with your counsellor? Presumably she is experienced and may be able to give you advice about the practical issues and procedures? The important thing is that you feel supported and 'comfortable' (yes, a useless word in the circumstances, but I couldn't think of another one) doing it.
I hope that you feel that you can keep posting and that there are people here to walk this bit of the journey with you. grace